Letting go of the ego

“Therefore, surely, O monks, whatever feeling, past, future or present, internal or external, coarse or fine, low or lofty, far or near, all that feeling must be regarded with proper wisdom, according to the Dharma, thus: This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my Self.” – The Buddha (Anatta-lakkhana Sutta)

When there is no self, there is peace. When there is me and mine then there is no peace. Worry, anxiety, what are they? They are all from me and mine. When you let go, then there is cessation of me and mine. There is peace, calm, clarity, dispassion, emptiness. – Ajahn Sumedho

Lose the mind, stop the thought, by ridding yourself of the motivator of all the thoughts, called feelings. No feelings and you’re there. And when you so decide to let go of your feelings, it’s easy. It’s an accretion that takes tremendous effort to hold on to. Become effortless right now and you’re free. Let go of all your effort, every ounce of it, of trying to be limited, of trying to be what you are not. – Lester Levenson (Get Off the Rollercoaster)

As long as the shells covering the soul are intact—be they ever so slight—the soul cannot see God. Thus Boethius says: “If you want to know the straight truth, put away joy and fear, expectation, hope and disappointment.” Joy, fear, expectation hope and disappointment are all intervening layers, all shells. As long as you stick to them and they to you, you shall not see God. – Meister Eckhart (Sermon Forty Two)

756. As a garment cleansed of its dirt or gold separated from its impurities are not destroyed but remain as they are, so is the self freed from its defilements. – The Lankavatara Sutra (p. 359)

Dispassion

In Buddhism passions are called klesa (klesha); these are unwholesome states of mind such as elation and sorrow, fear and anger, greed and envy, pride and shame. Passions arise from attachments, which are obsessive desires to get some things and avoid other things. Attachments are not only the cause of our birth, but are the cause of whatever particular circumstances in which we find ourselves.

A young child whose desires are frustrated can cry and throw a tantrum. As we grow older, however, we grow afraid of disapproval and we start to push our feelings away. “If my mother sees that I’m angry with her, she may stop loving me.” “If others see that I’m angry they will make fun of me.” But attempting to push away feelings doesn’t get rid of them—they only accumulate.

To release is to do the opposite of pushing feelings away: it is to allow them to come up, to allow myself to feel angry or sad or terrified or ashamed. But it isn’t the same as what we usually do when we are upset, which is to get bogged down in thoughts about the situation. As Lester said, “Thinking is rationalizing, usually our emotions and desires, and has its source in the ego.” When we release, we do not dwell in thoughts. In fact, the situation and the people involved have no more significance than the plot of an old stage play or an opera.

The only thing that matters is my feeling about the event or the situation right now. Observe the “I” who feels angry or afraid or ashamed, etc. Who is this “I” who feels this way? This is the Teaching that Bodhidharma is talking about.

Even though the mind has entered delusion, do not push delusion away. Instead, when something arises from the mind, rely on the Teaching to gaze at the place from which it arises. If the mind discriminates, rely on the Teaching to gaze at the place of the discrimination. Whether greed, anger or ignorance arise, rely on the Teaching to gaze at the place from which they arise. To see that there is no place from which these can arise is to cultivate the Way. If there is anything arising from the mind, then investigate it, and relying on the Teaching, clean house! – Bodhidharma (Method for Quieting the Mind)

The Release Technique

Lester Levenson developed the Release Technique from his own enlightenment experience. Having undergone four years of Freudian psychoanalysis, he knew that negative feelings buried deep in the subconscious govern our thoughts and behavior and make us ill. At the age of forty-two, facing imminent death, he discovered that he could bring these feelings up into his awareness and let go of them, and that this involved no effort—just the decision to do it. And letting go of his feelings not only made him incredibly happy, it made him aware of the self-centered desires, his attachments, which were at the root of his negative thoughts and feelings.

A student of Lester, Lawrence Crane, taught what he called the Release Technique until he passed away. He posted free demonstrations of releasing, available at http://www.lesterlevenson.org/about-releasing.php and https://www.releasetechnique.com/audios/. To understand how Lester learned to release you can read the post, Lester Levenson (1909-1994). A shorter version of Lester’s story can be found here: http://www.presentlove.com/lester-levenson/.

Negative feelings

We deal with negative feelings by expressing them, suppressing them, or by trying to escape them through distractions or keeping busy. These coping mechanisms do not work. When we express our feelings we usually regret it, and when we try to suppress them or escape from them we only succeed in keeping them firmly in our mind. The only way to permanently get rid of a feeling is to to let it come up and face it: “I hate my sister-in-law!”; “I’m afraid of what the future will bring!”; “All those years of effort were for nothing!” The feeling will then resolve all by itself.

When the practitioner realizes that delusion has arisen, then, relying on the Teaching, he gazes at it and causes it to vanish. – Bodhidharma (Method for Quieting the Mind)

How to Release

To release, you allow the feeling to come up without resisting it, since it is the resistance that holds it in your mind.

Resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matt. 5:39)

Remain focused on the “I” who feels angry, sad, terrified or ashamed. If thoughts arise about the person or the situation, bring your focus back onto the feeling.

Don’t turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. Feel it—don’t create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to the feeling, not to the person, event, or situation that seems to have caused it.

Since it is impossible to get away from the feeling, the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise nothing will shift. So give your compete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into the feeling, be intensely alert.

At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it but don’t act on it. Keep putting your attention on the pain, keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread the loneliness, whatever it is. (Eckhart Tolle, 1999, p. 135).

While you are releasing, make sure there is no tension in your body. Relax the jaw muscles. Relax the muscles of the chest and abdomen and exhale. Relax any other place where there is tension.

Feelings come up in waves. Even the strongest feelings attached to a particular event don’t last very long: they go away after a minute or two. But with long-buried feelings it is necessary to keep bringing them up over and over until they are gone for good. (Watch EMDR video to see how this works)

Releasing painful memories

There is more pain from holding on to the thought of pain than there is in the situation itself. A painful memory, when faced fully and squarely, will resolve. Because of its unpleasantness, one tries to flee from it and escape it; this holds it in mind and thereby holds on to the pain. – Lester Levenson

If a feeling attached to a memory is too overwhelming to face, use EMDR and bilateral tapping to release it. You can do it on yourself or find someone trained in the technique to help you. (See EMDR and bilateral tapping)

The following is the releasing method without EMDR or bilateral tapping:

• Recall the event; allow the feeling to come up into your awareness.
• Relax any tension in your body and exhale.
• Maintaining your physical relaxation, stay focused on the feeling until it passes away.
• Recall the event again, but only long enough to bring up the feeling.
• Repeat this process until there is no longer any feeling attached to the memory.

Releasing guilt or shame

At our core we are pure and transcendent, and any negativity we engage in is not who we are—the essence of who we are remains unscathed. Actions occur on the level of manifestation, the level of experiences . . . but they cannot affect nor influence the deepest infinite part of ourselves—the part of self which is always present and unified. – Rabbi DovBer Pinson (Chabad.org)

To cling to guilt and shame is to commit the sin of pride of self. It is far more advantageous to have done really deplorable things than to have lived a virtuous life, because you can humble yourself all the more.

• Recall the event and allow the feeling of guilt or shame to come up into your awareness.
• Relax any tension in your body and exhale.
• Maintaining your relaxation, stay focused on the feeling until it passes away. If it helps you stay focused, repeat a thought such as, “I feel really, really ashamed.”
• Recall the event again, but only long enough to bring up the feeling.
• Repeat this process until there is no longer shame or guilt attached to the event.

Once justly set in the will of God, a man will not wish that the sin he committed had never happened. To be sure, it was contrary to God, but by it he is committed to greater love, being abased and humbled because he did act contrary to God. You may, however, fully trust God not to have put the sin upon you except to bring out the best that is in you. – Meister Eckhart, The Talks of Instruction

Such a man is so one-willed with God that he wills all that God wills and in the way God wills it. And so, since God in a way wills that I should have sinned, I would not wish that I had not done so. – Meister Eckhart, The Book of Divine Comfort

Releasing negative feelings towards a person

Our anger towards people usually stems from our inability to make them change their behavior. When people don’t give us the approval we want, or when they are doing something that makes us feel insecure, we wish we could control them. So the first thing to do is to figure out why, of all the people there are in the world, I wish I could control this person.

• Think of the person and try to identify the feeling—anger, shame, envy.
• Don’t push the feeling away. It’s better to say, “I hate him!” than to keep telling yourself that you love him. You really do love him, but you need to bring up the hatred in order to let go of it.
• Stay focused on the feeling until it passes away. If a thought about the person arises, bring your focus back to the “I” who who feels hurt, angry, envious, etc.
• Bring up the feeling again.
• Repeat the process until you can think of the person without any negative feelings.

Once you have let go of your hatred, you can replace it with love. Our love for people is inversely related to our desire to control them: the less we want to control them, the higher the love. The first level is to love them in spite of the way they behave. Better than that is to love them while accepting the way they behave. The highest love is to love them because they are the way they are. Ask yourself,

“Can I love this person in spite his behavior?”
“Can I love this person and accept his behavior?”
“Can I love this person because he is the way he is?”

Stuck?

The reason we should love people because they are the way they are is actually quite selfish, and it is that we can only grow through conflict with others. When someone’s behavior bothers me, the only thing I can do to resolve this ‘cognitive dissonance’ is to let go of the ego that feels bothered. But if that person suddenly began to behave in a way I approved of, instead of helping me to grow he or she would be supporting my ego.

It is as if you hired someone to play the villain in your very successful play that you wrote and directed, and after a few performances, which the reviewers all loved, he told you he wanted to play a nicer character. Now what are you going to do?

Watch this interview, “Steven Spielberg talks about Schindler’s List” (https://youtu.be/Jf_ntUGfV1Q). In it he talks about how he hired German actors to play the role of cruel, heartless Nazis; but when he saw the actors in their uniforms, he was overcome by anger towards them.

THE PERFECTION OF PATIENCE
Furthermore, a Bodhisattva stands firm in the perfection of patience. Upon taking the vow to achieve enlightenment he arms himself thus: “If all beings were to hit me with sticks, clods, fists, or swords, not even a single thought of anger should arise in me!”

It is just as if a clever magician [or movie director] had conjured up a great crowd of people: if they all hit him with sticks, clods, fists, or swords, he would not have even a single thought of anger towards them. – The Mahaprajnaparamita Sutra 

Releasing fears

AboutTheReleaseTechnique

• Bring up the thought and allow the fear to enter your awareness. If it helps, imagine you are a frightened young child.
• Relax any tension in your body and exhale.
• Maintaining your physical relaxation, stay focused on the fear until it passes away. If it helps you to stay focused, repeat a thought such as, “I feel afraid.”
• Return to the thought, but only long enough to bring up the fear.
• Repeat this process until there is no longer any fear attached to the thought
.

Releasing attachments

All feelings arise out of a craving for approval or control, and these in turn arise out of a craving for security, which comes from our fear of death.

The Three Kinds of Cravings:

• For approval or love
• For control
• For security

Our earliest awareness of the craving for approval is when we crave the love of a parent. From then on we continually seek approval by grasping for attention, affection, recognition, respect, admiration.

Our earliest awareness of the craving for control is frustration at not being able to control our parents and get the love and attention that we want. From then on our craving for control takes the form of wanting to control others, wanting to be right, wishing we could change a situation in the present, and wishing we could change the past.

If you wish you could change the past, you need to understand that every event is both necessary and perfectly designed—not only for your growth, but for the growth of the others involved. (Just be aware that each person is being given a different lesson!) As James Allen wrote,

Every man is where he is by the law of his being; [his]thoughts . . . have brought him there, and in the arrangement of his life there is no element of chance, but all is the result of a law which cannot err.

As a progressive and evolving being, man is where he is that he may learn [in order] that he may grow; and as he learns the spiritual lesson which any circumstance contains for him, it passes away and gives place to other circumstances. (“As a Man Thinketh”, 1903)

Our earliest awareness of the craving for security is when we fear not being loved by our parents. Besides seeking a feeling of security through approval or control, we may seek it by accumulating wealth, by an obsession with food, by hoarding, by buying insurance, or by worrying about our health.

To release a craving, identify the corresponding fear or aversion, bring that into your awareness, and observe it. Use the circumstance only as a trigger to bring up feelings. Focus on the subject, the “I” that feels, never on the object. The following is an example of releasing a desire to change a situation—or the craving for control:

• Think of the situation, and allow the feeling of fear and anger to enter your awareness. It is perfectly all right to say, “I hate them!”
• Relax any tension in the body and exhale.
• Remaining relaxed, focus on the feeling until it passes away. If it helps you to stay focused, repeat a thought such as, “I hate them!” Who is the “I” who hates them?
• Recall the situation again, but only long enough to bring up the feeling. Stay focused on “I”.
• Repeat this process until there is no longer any fear or anger attached to the situation.

Keep your attention focused on you. If you would do only this for weeks or months, you would get full Self-realization.  (“Letting go of ego”)

End of Letting Go of the Ego

* * *

Lester Levenson:

The only growth there is, is letting go of the ego. So to use this concept of happiness versus misery, every time we are unhappy, if we just assume that this has its source in the ego, we may then look for the source of the misery.

Now, looking at it is not so easy, because we must learn how to look at it. When we are unhappy, we should look within for a frustrated desire—this is the source of all misery. We had a desire, and it’s selfish. We wanted something, we couldn’t get it, and therefore we’re unhappy. So, every time we are unhappy, we should sit with it, look at it, see its source in the ego. And when you see the source of it, when you see that desire that’s being frustrated, you’ll automatically let go of it, and by doing so, you’re letting go of a bit of ego. Continue this and you’ll get full realization; you’ll eliminate the ego. – Lester Levenson (“Your Path to Happiness,” June 7, 1966, https://youtu.be/Q3m7I8C6zZQ)

Whatever thoughts you try to push away will stick to you

At that time there was a heavenly being, a goddess, in Vimalakirti’s room who, seeing these great men and hearing them expound the Dharma, proceeded to make herself visible and, taking heavenly flowers, scattered them over the bodhisattvas and principal disciples. When the flowers touched the bodhisattvas, they all fell to the floor at once, but when they touched the principal disciples, they stuck to them and did not fall off. The disciples all tried to shake off the flowers through their supernatural powers, but they could not do so.

At that time the goddess said to Shariputra, “Why try to brush off the flowers?”

“Such flowers are not in accordance with the Teaching,” he replied. “That’s why I try to brush them off.”

The goddess said, “Don’t say these flowers are not in accordance with the Dharma. Why? Because the flowers make no such distinctions. You in your thinking have made up these distinctions, that’s all. If one who has left the household life to follow the Buddha’s Teaching makes such distinctions, that is not in accordance with the Teaching. One must be without distinctions to be in accordance with the Teaching Look at the bodhisattvas—the flowers do not stick to them because they have already cut off all thought of distinctions. Just as evil spirits are able to take advantage of a person who is beset by fear, so because you disciples are fearful of the cycle of birth and death, the senses of form, sound, smell, taste, and touch are able to take advantage of you. But once a person has done away with fear, then the five desires that arise from these senses will not be able to get at him. So long as one has not done away with all such entanglements, the flowers will stick to him. But they will not stick to someone who has eliminated them all.” (Watson, The Vimalakirti Sutra)

* * *

Lester Levenson on Pain and Pleasure

Pain is a prod to push us in the right direction. The right direction is to know that we are masters over body and mind. The more we look in the right direction, the more we find that which is right and true, and the less the pain.

There is more pain from holding on to the thought of pain than there is in the situation itself. If you let the world strike you, it will do so less cruelly than your own imagination.

Pain in the body is the sense of heightened awareness at a point. When a part of the body is being damaged, a mental alarm is turned on, called pain. If the mind answers the alarm fully, the pain turns off immediately, and the body mechanics go to work at that point and rapidly repair it.

Because of past unpleasant experiences, we have developed a fear of pain, and mentally try to flee from it, to escape it. This is not fully answering the alarm; it causes the pain to linger, and the body repair mechanics to slow down. If one knows this, one can eliminate pain and effect a rapid healing of the body. [Since it isn’t] easy to understand what “feeling the pain” means, try increasing the pain. This mentally places one in the pain and makes one feel it. On really feeling the pain it will immediately disappear and the body will rapidly heal.

Mental pain likewise can be eliminated by recognizing it and facing it. A painful memory, when faced fully and squarely, will resolve. Because of its unpleasantness, one tries to flee from it and escape it. This holds it in mind rather than resolves it, and thereby holds onto the pain.

Levenson, Lester (1998). The Ultimate Truth. Sherman Oaks, California: Lawrence Crane Enterprises, Inc.

* * *

The Buddha’s Discourse on the Characteristics of Things Devoid of Self-Nature

“Feeling, O monks, is not-self; if feeling were self, then feeling would not lead to affliction and it should obtain regarding feeling: ‘May my feeling be thus, may my feeling not be thus’. And indeed, O monks, since feeling is not-self, therefore feeling leads to affliction and it does not obtain regarding feeling: ‘May my feeling be thus, may my feeling not be thus.’

“What do you think of this, O monks? Is feeling permanent or impermanent?”
“Impermanent, O Lord.”
“Now, that which is impermanent, is it unsatisfactory or satisfactory?”
“Unsatisfactory, O Lord.”
“Now, that which is impermanent, unsatisfactory, subject to change, is it proper to regard that as: ‘This is mine, this I am, this is my self’?”
“Indeed, not that, O Lord.”

“Therefore, surely, O monks, whatever feeling, past, future or present, internal or external, coarse or fine, low or lofty, far or near, all that feeling must be regarded with proper wisdom, according to the Dharma, thus: ‘This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self.'”

Anatta-lakkhana Sutta: The Discourse on the Not-self Characteristics. Translated from the Pali by N.K.G. Mendis (2007) (https://accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.059.mend.html)

* * *

Meister Eckhart on confession

Whenever a man wishes to receive the body of our Lord, he may well approach without undue worry. But it is seemly and very profitable to confess first, even if one has no pangs of conscience, for the sake of the fruits of the sacrament of confession. But should a man have some compunction, and if his occupations prevent him from going to confession, let him go to his God, confess himself guilty with true repentance, and be at peace until he has a chance to go to confession. And if during this the thought or pangs of conscience for his sins disappear, he may consider that God has also forgotten them. One should rather confess to God than to man, and it is a duty to take one’s confession to God seriously and accuse oneself strictly. Nor should a man who intends to go to the sacrament lightly abandon this and leave it aside for the sake of some outward penance, for it is a man’s intention in his works that is righteous, godly and good. (Walshe, Volume III, p. 44)

The greater we ourselves feel our sin to be, the more ready God is to forgive that sin and to enter the soul to drive it out; for everyone is most eager to get rid of what hurts him most. So, the more and the greater the sins, the more immeasurably glad and the quicker God is to forgive them, the more so since they are more hateful to Him. And then, when this divine repentance lifts itself up to God, all sins have vanished in God’s abyss more quickly than I can blink an eye, and they are completely destroyed as if they had never been, provided the repentance is complete. (Walshe 2009, “The Talks of Instruction,” p. 501)

* * *

Dwoskin, Hale and Levenson, Lester (2001). Happiness is Free. Sedona, Arizona: Sedona Training Associates.

Lawrence Crane Enterprises (1998). The Abundance Course Release Workbook. Sherman Oaks, California. (Abundance-course-workbook)

Levenson, Lester (2003). No Attachments, No Aversions: The Autobiography of a Master. Sherman Oaks, California: Lawrence Crane Enterprises, Inc.

Sedona Training Associates (2005). The Insider’s Guide to the Sedona Method. (download)

Tolle, Eckhart. “How to Stop the Voice in the Head.” https://youtu.be/CfyRMHtwJkk

Tolle, Eckhart (1999). Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations and Exercises from The Power of NOW. Novato, California: New World Library.

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