About this web site

If I ever leave this world alive


The days of thy life are running from thee:
why dost thou vainly waste thy zeal on the things of the earth
and puttest behind thee all the things of heaven?
Thou hast spent thy life sunk in the worries and cares of the world,
working thyself into a decline through the pains and the sorrows.

Thou art a stranger housed in a body of the earth defiled:
How long therefore hast thou been heedless of what thou ignorantly doest?
Thou toilest all thy time to nourish thy body:
yet hast thou not worried, poor thing, in what way thou canst be saved.
Thou weepest and sheddest tears for a son or a friend dying:
yet thy own departing, the thought of it enters not into they heart.

Look therefore at that which is hidden from thee and see from today henceforth:
Lo, the way to travel is before thee; forget not thy departing.
Choose not the life of this body before eternal life:
put the fear of God in they heart and thou shalt live without toil.
Psalm CCLXV, MPB, p. 82 (From Davidson, 1995)

This site was intended to be a source of post-satori instruction. I had an awakening on June 12, 2018; when it happened I didn’t have a master to help me to continue moving forward, so I turned to those who no longer wear existence as a garment. As it turns out, post-satori instruction is everywhere to be found: in the talks of Lester Levenson, the sermons of Eckhart, the writings of Jeanne Guyon, and in the Buddhist sermons and scriptures. I have tried to organize what I have found according to theme, and have not omitted references so that the portions quoted can be read in their original context. One can also go to Youtube and listen Lester’s talks, which is like being able to listen to the Buddha or Meister Eckhart giving a sermon.

Another thing I wanted to do with the site was to share the method I used to gain my awakening. The Finder’s Course cost $2,500, but most of the exercises from the course can be found in Eleven practices to attain the first awakening. Two things from the course that are not in the post are a group awareness exercise, which I personally hated, and Jeffery Martin’s book, which I strongly advise people not to read. Another thing that the Finder’s Course offers is a schedule. This can be good if you embrace the schedule for its order, as if you were taking a tour of a marvelous new country. However, it can be a drawback if you view it like a college course with a series of tasks you reluctantly perform in order to earn a grade, and which you can always take again if you fail. If the Finder’s Course doesn’t work for you the first time, taking it again probably won’t produce a different result because then you will have an expectation of failure.

In order to find out what you really are, the one infinite Self, your ego-self has to go. If you hope to be a happier and more successful ego, if you hope to stroll into the infinite with your family or friends, if you imagine that you will use what you learn to teach others, you will fail—I guarantee it. Enlightenment is going beyond death before the body dies; in order to accomplish this you must forget everything, and that includes any future plans for your ego-self. On the other hand, your ego-self is going to die sooner or later; so you can keep trying to write a nice eulogy for it, or you can vow to find out what you really are. And wouldn’t it be better to spend the rest of your life in a state of bliss and peace, with all questions answered, instead of being wracked by doubt, anxiety and sorrow? It’s never too soon to begin to let go of the source of doubt, anxiety and sorrow—your ego.

The subject of the post was how best to use this site. If you have entered the stream, I don’t need to tell you what to read. If you have not yet entered the stream, I suggest that you first read “Hsin-hsin Ming.” It is forty verses long, so if you only read one post on a verse per day, it will take you less than forty days. Pay particular attention to Jeanne Guyon’s guide to “prayer” (Do not labor to quiet your thoughts), which is an introduction to mindfulness meditation (as opposed to releasing, which you must also learn to do). With Jeanne’s method you pick a sacred writing and you read a short passage from it. After reading the passage, you pause for a time and focus your thoughts on what you have read. The text itself matters less than the fact that you aren’t thinking about other things, but sacred writings, such as the Hsin-hsin Ming and Adi Shankara’s Self-Realization, provide profound meditations. Less poetic but no less true are the words of Lester Levenson in The Ultimate Truth.

After you have read Hsin-hsin Ming and have become familiar with some form of meditation, I suggest you look over Eleven Practices. If you don’t understand the purpose of a practice, read a related post. Then, when you have a good grasp of why each practice is prescribed and how you are going to successfully do it, set aside three months of your life, put on “The Secret of Healing,” and become your glorious unlimited Self.

I will end this introduction with the words of Meister Eckhart:

Whoever has understood this sermon, good luck to him. If no one had been here I should have had to preach it to this collection-box. There are some poor people who will go back home and say, ‘I shall settle down and eat my bread and serve God’. By the eternal truth I declare that these people will remain in error, and will never be able to strive for and win what those others achieve who follow God in poverty and exile. Amen. (Walshe, Vol. II, Sermon Fifty Six)

This blog is dedicated to my children. Because they chose to accompany me in this life I would not give up searching until I had found the answers.

January 2, 2020.


Davidson, John (1995). The Gospel of Jesus: In Search of His Original Teachings. Element Books.

M. O’C. Walshe (1987). Meister Eckhart: Sermons and Treatises Volume II. UK: Element Books Limited.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s